One size does not fit all when it comes to relationship advice. One great therapist may say to watch out for rebound relationships, and another great therapist may present a different kind of analysis. The therapist might say, Do you practice with discernment when you date? or are you looking for sex with almost anything that breathes? Except probably the therapist would say that last bit in a different way. I hope.
My point here is that the healing process takes various shapes for all of us. As long as we're caring for our health, we might take different steps. Some might like being in relationships and so seek out another one lickety-split. Others may wait until every tether to the former is gone before beginning to seek another, a path I kind of doubt ever really manifests. If your story proves me wrong, I welcome the correction.
We are each an individual in relationship with others, never fully connected yet potentially always seeking connection. This is biology and spiritual principle alike. In the social context, we don't choose what another person does. We have control over only our own mechanisms, thought processes, and actions. Some people rely on luck or chance or the Way or whatever you call it in your head from moment to moment. All we can really do is be responsible for ourselves and do the best we can, though.
If later these actions seem untenable, we must allow that, too. Maybe it's then that we explore ourselves a bit more and create a deeper connection overall with something much larger than ourselves and relationships in general.
There's that saying, "Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." In my darkest moments, I hate that saying. So much pain is possible when you allow yourself to feel vulnerable with another. When I'm in a different state of mind, though, I value this vulnerability and the process that goes along with it. The ability to feel various emotions is the very root of our humanity. We are better for it.
We just don't have control over everything. It's a simple concept, and many of us spend a lot of our lives trying to plan out the natural flow of life. Some of this is good. We need to create healthy lives and ways we can feel both adventurous and safe in the world. If we work at it, we might be able to love fully and give freely. This is a beautiful thing, this ability to love, but it doesn't guarantee outcomes from other people. Our planning and loving and giving doesn't always fit with the things others must do for themselves.
Well hello there.