Have you heard of The Four Agreements, a book by Don Miguel Ruiz? It offers four guidelines for a personal philosophy to free your spirit. I think I liked it when I read it several years ago, but now I feel mostly annoyed with its messages. It's tempting to follow a simple set of rules, especially when they're helpful a lot of the time. But any philosophy or religion or outlook has its pitfalls. It's important to be aware that weakness is in all things.
That said, it's really two of the guidelines in particular that irk me: Don't assume and don't take anything personally. The other two: Be impeccable with your word and always do your best -- those are less annoying. Someone once said that I'm jaded against organized religion or groups. That could be, and I don't use that word, jaded. I look at it like this. If you believe in something, know that it has its weaknesses. Be prepared to understand and accept that holes exist in all forms of logic and rationale. It is possible to analyze all topics to a complete oblivion. Also, to not assume ever is a dangerous route to travel. Part of our intuitive abilities blur with what it means to assume. To cut ourselves completely off from assumptions is to stunt healthy development by calling it a word that seems negative. To never take anything personally is to leave part of ourselves empty from exploration. This can leave us open for abuse and manipulations.
Agitated. Jealous. Frustrated. Conflict of many varieties is a guarantee in life. How and whether we recognize it, what we do with it. This is our choice. Conflict is part of raising one's awareness, being alert. We will often feel a pattern of emotions when we begin to recognize conflict, a set of hormonal actions that is automatic until identified and rerouted. Looking back, this was one of the reasons I played like putty in the hands of an abusive narcissist who raped me. I was unaware of my emotions and how to healthfully guide them, although I wouldn't have said that at the time. I thought myself plenty aware and robust. Learning personal limitations and how they interact to develop life -- not everyone chooses to do this stuff. It can be humiliating and painful, emotions that many personalities deflect with fury, blame, anxiety, or guilt. But it's worth effort to inspect the self even with uncomfortable emotions. Because when you're able to sit with discomfort and respect it rather than push it away or ignore it, your life enriches itself. Meaning develops.
Well hello there.