It's been a long time since I paid someone to intuit things with me. Usually, the price is too high or the personality a little too wack for my taste. No offense intended for the psychics up in here, but yeebers. There are so many folks who take advantage of anyone open to possibility. After several bad experiences with people who self-identified as psychic or intuitive or whatever, I closed myself off from specifically seeking that kind of assistance. Until last week.
You know that saying attributed to Barnum or Bailey, one of the circus guys, "There's a sucker born every minute"? That mentality keeps people from trying out the possibility of psychic nature. The truth, though, that's the kicker. The truth is that we all contain connection to psychic nature, to spiritual understanding. Who is able to intuit which messages is a matter of who practices which skills as we grow older.
I would venture to say that nearly all of us have bad experiences with this connection. There's good and bad with all things in our Earthly reality, this dual nature of ours. Some personalities manipulate the psychic, spiritual realm to take advantage of others. It's disheartening. Yet.. if we can develop ourselves to process humiliation that comes from being taken advantage of; and sadness that arises from thoughts about abusive pasts or neglectful presents, we might become like a golden tree at a water's edge.
Holidays can be an anxious eggshell time. Expectation, hope, and letdown simmer at just below a surface. Maybe inside of us, possibly around us. As we grow in age and refine our character, that which defines us changes. What once excited us sometimes shifts to perturb, or what we once saw as absolutely necessary alters to insignificant.
My mind, spirit, and body attempt to feel grateful for what exists this holiday season. It's not what I remember, and it's not really what I want, but it's what is.
What to do!
When you view your job as a choice, do you leave it because your direct leader acts a turd? What if the organization is really purposeful and you work with people who seem like they could one day be good friends? Is it a good idea to stay somewhere for a while because you feel like you have friends there? What if the place offers free education benefits and oodles of vacation hours? Is it ok for a boss to treat you as if you are a fool when all of those other things are true? How much does it really matter what a boss thinks anyway? Are friends even a good element of the matrix that decides whether a job is a good job? What if the job is mostly boring and you get to meet a lot of people? What if the boss says she wants to be copied on every email related to a project? What if she asks who told you about an event and you decline to say who, and you give an explanation why in the most respectful way possible, and you mention the need for agency, and then she comes up with the copy-on-every-email request? What if your boss is so incredibly insecure that she embodies a huge chunk of vindictive, tactless, callous, gross, overbearing, overly needy, and overwhelming toxicity?
These are questions my mind asks. Answers depend on experiences and worldviews. At 16, answers are quite different than when at 56. This is natural. It's also what makes life so very complex and ambiguous. We are in constant development, every second growing and changing. Our minds can be cognizant of only so much, though. We need part of our brain to take care of us at the cellular level -- to keep our cells dividing, our mitochondria doing their thing, each ion of our existence connecting or becoming unstable as benefits our being in each moment. It's probably best that we are not feeling each mitochondrial interaction as its own process in each moment because how would our minds then also process the need to brush teeth or drive a car? How would we continue to breathe if our minds communicated to our conscious state each ionic connection or destabilization? Perhaps the same can be true of making it through a shitty boss experience... perhaps to do so and maintain dignity, the mind must give only so many fucks.
Well hello there.