We're all just doing our best to make it in this world. This concept used to really turn me off. The best just isn't good enough! Things need to pick up or get out of the fucking way!
You see, my family of origin held kindness in short supply. There just wasn't a bunch of time to "waste" on gentle words. It was: Get over it, shut up, move on. It was: Attack or be attacked. This was the best we could muster at the time.
War will do this to people. It will twist emotion from grasp and toss it aside as a matter of survival. It makes sense, really. If you are in a constant state of threat, your being will shut down certain elements in order to have enough energy to continue your existence. This is biology in action. When the threats subside, sometimes survival patterns continue. This may manifest as anxiety, a need to be right at all costs, and other combinations like addiction and excessive socializing or isolation.
Our physical elements try to help us survive, and biology alone can do only so much. The rational mind, the logic of life -- it goes so far and then reaches a wall. Eventually, we must bring in other forces. We all have unique combinations of neural pathways, social experiences, cultural influences. This means we can't apply one version of understanding to all people. Yet, at the same time, we need an understanding in order to continue. Paradox! The fertilizer for peace.
Sometimes trying our best and going through hellacious paradoxes can culminate in bitterness. As fucked as it is, this is also the best we can do for that time. May we love and be gentle with ourselves, even if we find ourselves addicted to something or acting like bully jerk faces. In the end, an awareness of our own failures will bring the light of compassion. The ultimate truth is acting from this compassion. May we all do so in our own time.
Well hello there.