We're all nuts. Some of us are nuttier than others about certain things, and we could all join nutland at any time.
When I knew that Rapist was sleeping with other women and didn't have tangible proof, I went driving in a particular area of town looking for his car. Other people have described this as "going crazy." Belleruth Naparstek talks about this as "searching behavior" in Your Sixth Sense: Unlocking the Power of Your Intuition. She's a therapist who knows intuition as something all of us have, an everyday tool. The searching behavior is a natural response to trauma. Our minds practice it as a coping mechanism.
Even as I don't identify as a Christian, I can appreciate the power of the words in parts of the Bible. Naparstek opens her book with a few from Proverbs 16:1. It's a great message. I put my own translation inside of the brackets because the word "Lord" doesn't sit well with me right now.
The preparation of the heart is the work of humankind;
Well hello there.