Even as I go through times when I realize I may never know my siblings; that I won't fit completely anywhere; that bad and unfair situations occur beyond extent my mind knows, I breathe deeply. My mind visualizes light traveling into and around my body.
A ball of light enters through my bottom portion, via the first ren acupuncture point (CV-1, Hui Yin or Ren-01, Hui Yin). The ball travels up my spine, up the back of my neck, over the top of my head. Slowly, it moves down the middle of my forehead, over my chin, down my chest, past my bellybutton, and into my dantian. From there, it glides up the middle of my body and splits to travel down both arms toward my middle fingers. The cycle continues for as long as my mind holds it.
I'm in my 30s now. I see how I'm half-immigrant and half-non-immigrant in ways that I previously didn't understand. In my first third of life, I saw from an American perspective. I didn't know myself as anything other than American. Then we lived overseas for a few years, and my perspective altered. I saw how American people could be minority, mean different things to people from different countries. I began to comprehend what it meant for one culture to antagonize another culture based on culture alone. As a young adult, I didn't have the support structure that many of my friends and other family members appeared to have -- family who understood their thinking; a framework for emotion comprehension; an ability to say no. I did have deep belief.
For all of their differences, my parents both appreciated spiritual understanding. Each believed in a bigger purpose for life, a broader view.
This expanded vision permeates.
Well hello there.