Abuse may invalidate reality in someone's mind. In order to make sense of chaotic actions, minds can concoct fantastical images. While perhaps at first thought scary or disturbing, this aspect of the human brain is an important characteristic of limber neural pathways and a sense of peace.
My mind developed a story about the man who abused me, and that story created images in my mind when I experienced hurt around him. I imagined that we were Native American Indian partners in a former life, and that it was amazing that we found each other in this life. Everything was *so* intense, *so* dreamlike.
I later learned that imagery creation can be a coping skill with which to process emotions.
When I was younger than 10, I read books with my body in a particular posture and waited for my mind to create a specific image. I think that this was after the older girl down the street molested me. I remember sitting in my house's front room, the one that faced the front yard. I sat on the floor with my back against the wall, faced the window, bent my knees. I set the book against my legs and started to read, and ...slowly... my mind developed an image: me floating near the ceiling. I looked back at myself on the floor. I remember that I felt calm, peaceful.
In those times, those images created comfort for my being. Now I practice the same imagery skills in a different fashion.
In my current existence, I encounter racism, homophobia, or sexism on a weekly basis. These ideas typically preface a sense of injustice in my being, and I often want to do or say something when I hear them. That isn't always the wise solution. Sometimes things need to be broken. To process this idea, I've worked with methods that balance my perception, such as EFT and imperceptible deep breaths.
Racist thoughts, religious zealotry, crass comments -- these images for life create comfort for those who believe them. There's something familiar about separation, like when you fart and it stinks and you knew it would. Thoughts of separation allow a brain to avoid feeling out of control or otherwise uncomfortable.
Out of control and uncomfortable are important emotions to notice and, perhaps, about which to do something. Sometimes people hurt other people or allow others to hurt them and you can't do anything to stop it. That can feel painful in the stomach or perhaps tight in the chest. Someone told me that Terry Gilliam said something about the impotence one sometimes feels at the knowledge of world atrocities about which one feels one can do nothing. Sometimes I feel that way about racism or sexism or other ideas that seem unwieldy or impossible for me to even approach. Then I guide myself to visualize a beach or mentally tap through an EFT pattern or breathe deeply. I'll know what to say and when to say it, and I do what I can when I can and that's all that's reasonable to ask of ourselves or anyone else.
Well hello there.