Hi, I'm Meiling. Here's why I'm writing this blog.
Emotional boundaries both interest and challenge me. I ask myself, my friends and family, and sometimes random people questions about them. There's a saying about teaching what you want to know. In this case, I've decided to write about that which I'd like to practice: healthy emotional boundaries.
It can be challenging to specify healthy from unhealthy. Outside input is required. My personality is a type that enjoys observing, planning, and questioning. See how those three ideas can be accomplished almost entirely internally? Well, that's how I chose to do things for a time. Here and there, I'd discuss my ideas with others. I'd encounter a conflict and feel confused about how to talk about my ideas.
For a portion of my existence, I felt very insecure about my beliefs. I didn't want anyone to challenge them too much because...well, why should I, what do they know, why should I bother trying to develop emotions anyway, etc. I let myself end maybe-could-be-good friendships because I couldn't identify that someone's actions were hurting me. I'd withdraw into myself and feel angry or sad about my life because others were always so annoying or ignorant or blahblahTheyDon'tGetMe. My sense of self couldn't/wouldn't/didn't enforce a boundary simply because I thought it necessary. In truth, I didn't even realize when an emotional boundary was necessary. I didn't know many emotion words, so how could I describe, set, or enforce a boundary related to an emotion I didn't know I was feeling?
To my personality's introverted tendency's chagrin, I'm accepting that communicating my emotions (even the "bad" ones! oh no!) to other people is a requirement for developing healthy emotional boundaries and a sense of place in the world.
So that's part of why I'm writing this blog. (Other parts of why are discussed on the About page.) I need to interact with people in order to develop my courage and confidence. Is it weak to admit that? My social circle can help me with only so many of my questions. It's time to put my whywhywhy on the Internets so that I can interact with the wider world around how to proceed through emotional gray area.
I'm also writing because I'd like to share some of my stories with others. I'm hoping that my sharing some ideas and experiences will help someone else in some way. I've developed several strategies to identify, process, and utilize my emotions, and I'll likely communicate those, too.
And, finally, I'm writing because I don't always know exactly how I feel and I want to be able to know and define it and share it presto now-o... --> does that sound weird to you? It sounded weird to me at one time in my life. How could someone not know how s/he feels?! What kind of crazy is that? That's this kind of crazy right here. Hi, How's it goin'?
Well hello there.