Emptiness and detachment typically accompany drama, chaos, and uncertainty. An ability to live free from attachments proved exciting until I experienced a few situations that scared the bejeebus out of me. Then I decided that life with routine could be fascination time, too.
(Possibly disturbing memory in the next sentence.) At one time, a man sexually abused me and I rationalized it to myself and allowed him to continue to sexually abuse me. Months after I separated from him, I remembered this aspect of our relationship. I'd shoved it down into my memory's nether regions until I was in a different mindset to remember and process it. The memory scared me when I first remembered it. My brain trivialized, devalued, and dismissed its own thoughts, and that horrified me. I didn't respect myself in the ways I later knew to be necessary. That wore on me, and I got very low, emotionally, so I asked a professional art therapist for help. Through EMDR, EFT, and various art forms, I began to view the abuse with a different comprehension and act assertive.
The EMDR really helped me process traumatic events that I didn't originally classify as traumatic. At first, it was very visual because I closed my eyes to imagine meditations as I held a vibration device, aka a tapper, in each hand. As time progressed, my therapist would ask me to draw a picture or create another form of art and then we would alter that piece of art as we practiced EMDR meditations. I created paintings, oil pastel and charcoal drawings, sandbox art, clay-like objects, and needle-felted animals. Along the way, we discussed healthy life habits and practices. Creating art and interpreting its messages encouraged confidence. Through conversations about emotions in art, I saw how I could change my interaction skills to more accurately reflect my own experience. The art process taught me that a few attachments are essential to a healthy human psyche. Part of our brain needs to believe in something. One facet of a balanced human brain is that it utilizes certain connections, such as belief in an interconnection between all living elements. This is the source of creation.
Well hello there.