All of us have reasons why our lives are difficult, why its elements are challenges. Many of us come from families that didn't recognize us or spend time with the value that we had to offer. We figured out the hard stuff on our own, perhaps with minimal to mean support from those we felt close. These conflicts, in their depths, are the gems in our existence. As awful as it is to experience the shatter of boundary impropriety, light shines from its rust.
No one wants terrible to happen to her. It's not something we love from first experience. It is something that is foisted upon us, ill intentions in neither our minds nor our big compassionate hearts. Boundary violation is not something deserved or for which reasons enough exist. The wrong is perpetual in its puss-filled scab smoothed with scar and color. In time, our cells change and we experience life as an older, different being. We move into a concept of lives past as separate. The journey with balance is filled with thoughts about our worth, why our lives exist in their states, why we or our lives aren't more or better. In my experience, my muscles felt sore with stale emotions. My memory delivered sensations from days passed, painful times when I didn't have support to experience myself with depth.
My mind sometimes shifts to adventures to maintain balance. I believe we must experience adventure in our invitation to this planet, aka the biological processes that are our births. As we move through the world, we develop a sense of what it means to adventure, what life around us delivers when we explore. Adventure is replete with weakness almost by definition. At 18, I booked an around-the-world plane ticket and walked excitedly into an unknown. When I scuba dove off an island to the east of Malaysia, I didn't think about the weaknesses in my adventure. I focused on how fabulous and expansive it was to observe a school of fish beside an underwater ocean mountain. I could barely believe my eyes at how lovely the scene rested in its colorful activity, my breath measured and audible in scuba gear. I felt myself transcendent, curious in the smooth salt-filled water. The trip's weakness would develop later, as I lived my life beyond that decade. In their way, my travels become richer with each year I live and from which I part.
The things we know now are things we didn't know in the past. It's in this way that our ignorance teaches us to be the people we know ourselves to be. When I first started reading about other peoples' experiences with boundary violations, I read someone's blog post about how to know when the pain will end. The blog author offered that when you can look back and see that the situation could not have happened another way, then you know you are free from the experiences. I didn't like her black-and-white advice. This frustration with her views led me to start Let's Have Donuts. So, even as I didn't like her outlook, I'm glad she held her view and offered it on the Internet because it made me want to create my own presence here in the digital world.
We aren't always able to protect ourselves from bad. Things can happen in a lot of ways and sometimes they happen simply by chance. It's not a miracle or tragedy, per se. It's random mysterious life. Yes, there are people who do terrible things. Yes, many of us live in pro-capitalist societies that pedestal aggression, fame, and financial excess. I'd like it if we could guarantee each other that we're ok in every moment. In a spiritual sense, sure: Our nature is ok through each second. This is where deep breaths and spot the rainbow manifest with peaceful intention. In human reality, we have things to work out in the world. There is a constant struggle at play, one that involves numerous angles... personal, religious, ethnic, socioeconomic, gender, sexual preference... There is no telling what we're up against in every single moment and we can't possibly prepare for every possibility. This doesn't mean give up or we're done or any of that. It means we've come a long way and we have a long way to go. It means prepare as much as you are able, respect yourself and others, and feel the glory that is inside of each breath. We one day experience our own weaknesses and become tasked with how to treat ourselves and others. May we invest our ignorance in spacious bounties of kind belonging and fascination.
6/10/16. Edited second paragraph.
Well hello there.