Sex is a topic that every human addresses at one point or another in life. As tots, we explore our bodies. We get older, and that exploration starts to feel good for the body. Outside voices -- television, movies, books, newspapers, magazines, mom, dad, siblings, friends -- they have their opinions. Sometimes the outside voices are direct about their messages. Many times, they're indirect. A lot of us learn to feel shame about sex and the parts of our bodies that associate with the topic. By the time we reach adulthood, we've received multiple messages about how to disapprove of ourselves, our lives, and our bodies. It's true focus that's necessary to see a way out of that mess. We can feel proud of ourselves, sexual natures included.
Sexual organs are fun! They're like eyes for internal organs. They also require respect. Not just anyone gets to interact with your vagina or penis. When someone touches sexual parts of your body and it's somehow inappropriate, you know. You know when something is off about sexual nature. You tell you when you're feeling bad. Some of us go a long time with this feeling of bad.
I did. I pushed it away, decided it wasn't important. Then one day, I embraced the feeling again. I felt how bad I felt, tried to help myself. The solutions I chose didn't work out for me, and I felt like giving up. Only, I'd already given up several times, and my brain wasn't having it anymore and it searched for a therapist. (Ha. Brains.) I think sometimes it's possible to give up so many times you just don't care about yourself giving up anymore and you do something different.
Sexual acts, organs, ideas. These are our own with which to engage. When others hurt us, it's not our fault, and at the same time, it's up to us to see our ways to solutions in the ways we're able. Our culture pushes a lot of judgment through sexual identity -- one's partners, the number of them, what they look like, what happened, why, how -- and each of us, individually, gets to choose to love ourselves. Maybe one day love means multiple partners and another it means one. Ok. Love you. Respect yourself and others. That's what matters.
12/5/15 changed title and layout of post
Well hello there.