Negative emotions are those we don't want to feel or show. For me, these typically include: uncomfortable, anxious, rage, confusion, and vulnerability. Carl Jung referred to unwanted aspects as the shadow. Our neural pathways select dislike for these emotions as an attempt to control them. It's futile, though. We can't control emotion by disliking it. Emotions are hormonal responses to physical actions in our lives, a natural part of our existence. When we're able to embrace and accept every emotion, tolerate each one's message, we experience wholeness.
The days that we have do not have to be the days that have been.
I did talk with the group next to me at work, explained how I didn't like the term "towel head." (See related Dec. 13, 2015, post at this link.) It taught me to next time say it's a racist term that's inappropriate for the workplace rather than I don't like it. One of the guys got aggressive! Told me I should buy headphones or get busier if I was listening to other peoples' conversations. I told him I'm human, that I have hearing faculties. It was intense and ridiculous. Then I emailed my sister -- the same one from whom I decidedly parted ways six months ago. (I wrote a post that was essentially the same as the email that I sent to her. See that post at this link.) I was all for the nil contact and then my mom told me personal information about her life situation. So, I contacted her with a well wish. She didn't respond. I also recently contacted a couple of friends from much earlier life. Neither one responded in quite the way I envisioned. My mind can put together plenty of reasons for their silence, and I went ahead and tried anyway.
Another lady I know who is half-Chinese and half-Caucasian (like me) -- she doesn't say anything to people when she feels certain emotions around them. Namely, from what I can tell, disappointment and frustration. She says she'd rather her sister never know that she doesn't feel close with her. This same sister treats her as if they're close. Gah. Seriously, if I was her sister, I'd want to know whether she felt emotionally close with me. And yet, I am not in her family and those dynamics are unknown to me. In my own family, I know I can't be silent with my "negative" emotions. I did that for most of my earlier life, and then I spent six or seven years in individual therapy to discover, accept, and integrate those parts of myself.
We need the negative aspects of ourselves. They show us where we have boundaries. The negative is essential to the positive, just as yin requires yang. The entity as a whole requires the parts.
1/9/16 - Edited.
Well hello there.