Helpful arrives in different ways. An acquaintance may share an uncomfortable honesty. Long days and short nights might drain our physical bodies, test our mental limits. A sudden plane trip may carry us away from those we know and that which we love.
Life is this cool thing that happens and then we experience it. We have control over certain parts and a lot of absence of control. The aging process teaches us some of this. As we live through time, our bodies build and destroy themselves many times over. Societies rise and fall. Some of us gain multiple perspectives through observation and acceptance, and we strive to make the world a better place.
No matter which personality we embody, it's easy to lose sight of what matters. Elements beyond our control frequently challenge us. Our bodies get tired. Some of have additional challenges, ones that exceed the average. We might have a disability or have experienced some kind of abuse. Perhaps we lived the youngest years filled with a sense of distance.
At all times, we embody a segment of society. Others assess our actions and behavior. Whether we are seen as good or bad from first glance -- this holds a lot of weight in some circles. I bring this up because there is a young woman where I work who is very forceful with her words, vibrant with her actions. I wasn't there one time, and apparently she erupted in tears and yelling or something at a team activity. She's put others on the defensive a few times. When I observed one interaction, I encouraged the receiving party to talk it over with the young woman or to seek mediation.
Ultimately, another person went to our boss about it. Now my boss and his boss have it out for this young woman, as far as I can tell. My boss asked me to give him a written account of what happened and how I felt about it. I said I didn't feel comfortable going on-record with my feelings about what happened, however I would submit a description of events. The response was that he felt the event should be documented, that it would only be for him and his boss and human resources, that none of my team members would ever see it. Then he said that if I felt uncomfortable providing what he requested, he would understand and that it was not mandatory.
After all I went through with a previous sexist organization and the unhelpful human resources there who basically said I should leave if it was that bad... um, no way do I trust human resources anymore. Also, the way they're going about this is so distant and unhelpful for the team. It just exacerbates the issue. My boss said she didn't respond well to a discussion and didn't see how her actions could be perceived as aggressive by other team members.
Even if she disagrees with an assessment, that is no reason to ruin her career within an organization with a write-up that says she's unfit for teamwork. I don't know what's in store for her. I think she'll likely have to find another job if she wants any opportunity to advance. She'll probably receive unnecessary scrutiny and attention from some teammates and parts of upper management. They may make it difficult for her to be comfortable in easily deniable ways. It's happened to me on a couple of occasions. It's unfair and unjust. It happens when you're sometimes vibrant and your community pathologizes it.
Perhaps in the long run this will all be somehow helpful. Maybe I can't see it right now, and gratitude and justice still save humanity.
Well hello there.