Beginnings and endings have a lot in common even as they express opposites. Human behavior is cyclical, in some respects. We created an understanding of time to comprehend our dynamic in this place we now call the universe. As holiday seasons and traditions interact with human minds, various emotion patterns display. Visions of our future selves, of that which we do not see, these guide the higher portions of our minds. We need both lower and higher brain patterns to interact in order to feel like we belong in our bodies, on this planet, in this moment.
This holiday season, I felt anxious and disconnected when I saw my father in-person. A month ago, we textversated and he said he wouldn't give anymore in-person time to me. He's too busy, yada yada -- same stuff for most of my life except that at one time, I lived with him and interpreted our relationship in different ways. So then I went to visit my younger siblings, see if they wanted to grab a lunch. I up and drove to another city one morning, all spontaneous because I needed to get the f out of town for a short while. He walked down the stairs and looked around for me, saying something like, "You said Meiling was here?" Then he headed toward me and I stood there, statuesque, my chin and nose hidden behind my coffee cup as my body stood in full view. My insides churned shock and surprise because I didn't expect to see him! Then something kicked in, and I started talking about something... maybe I said I'd asked my sibling to lunch? and to use her computer? It was a frightening moment in its own way. And at the same time, I didn't call or text before I arrived, simply rung the doorbell! Oh, hello. Lunch? Then we hugged, exchanged our dynamic in an almost comfortable manner. I didn't make the trip about whether any of them were at the house, you see. I didn't count on them for the trip to work out. I figured, no one answers the door -- I interacted, I adventured, and I could still go somewhere else and enjoy the trip in a different way. It turned out great, really... after I spent some mostly quiet time in and around the house. My partner and I vegged on the couch, and I mentally tapped through a bit of anxiety and a persnickety thought that I f'd one of the relationships with display of a particular aspect of my existence.
New Year's Day is windy and chilly in my area of the planet. I feel a bit exuberant. This is a fun time, methinks. The tradition of each culture holds special meaning. In Hong Kong, I celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival with a lantern walk. It was fabulous! I held a lovely lantern at the end of a stick. It was crafted to hold a single candle inside its colorful cellophane-material-like walls. My parents and I walked around a trail at the top of a lovely peak, one now altered with development. Many people walked with us. I liked the view, to look out and see so many glowing lanterns walking, playing, with common purpose. I felt belonging. This is the beauty of tradition, of holiday. We feel connection, wholeness, when we practice traditional methods.
This traditional method is available across cultures. We might make soap, hunt or package our own meat, walk instead of drive a car. We can breathe deeply, take in the trust of our ancestors and the belief of our future selves. Exhale freely, fully. Happy New Year's, Grateful Tradition Celebration to you.
Well hello there.